Patch Blog: Meet Ruth Beaglehole--Parent Education Pioneer

Ruth Beaglehole was at the park recently with her granddaughter and overheard a young man yelling at his nephew.  “I was horrified,” she said. “The little boy was being punished for talking to a stranger!  Can you imagine that,” her voice rose an octave, “for talking to a stranger?”  Her dismay and passion were clear. “The boy even got time-out!”   

“I was chatting with the man later by the swings,” she continued, “and the little boy came over to see if his time-out was up.  So I asked the man, this really large guy, ‘You’re scared something’s going to happen to him, aren’t you?’”     

His demeanor changed immediately.  She had disarmed him, in her supportive and kind way, and he opened up.   “Then I was able to give him information,” she explained, “research that shows when children are abducted or harmed it’s usually by someone they know, rather than someone they don’t.”   

Empathy is key to Beaglehole’s philosophy of childrearing and to breaking the cycle of violence - which she believes goes beyond spanking and hitting to include yelling, threatening, and other emotional and verbal abuse, even inappropriate use of time-out. 

Beaglehole, founding director of Echo Parenting and Education, has been responsible for bringing non-violent parent education to an estimated 33,000 people in Los Angeles over the last 11 years.  She will talk to anyone, anywhere, in English, Spanish or sign language, to make a difference in the life of a child.  She’s soft spoken, but not shy.

Echo Parenting and Education (formerly The Center for Non-Violent Parenting and Education) is a non-profit organization in Echo Park - but its work extends beyond.  There are on and off-site parenting classes, in Spanish and English, support groups, conferences, weekend intensives, counseling, parent coaching, lectures, and community events for parents and children.  In addition to parent education, training is provided for teachers, daycare providers, and mental health professionals.        

Beagleholes’s vision for the center came from her deep conviction that the dominant parenting paradigm is faulty.  “I am appalled by the outcomes of childhood and parenting as an institution,” she explained, noting that one out of three children are sexually abused by someone in their family.  She wanted to create a place with an uncompromising  vision of what it is to love children well.  Her work, she said, is part of a larger social justice movement to end the oppression of children worldwide.  “The goal is to power with children, not over them.”        

Now in her late sixties, Beaglehole came to the US from New Zealand as a tourist after college and decided to stay.   “My parents were prestigious academics in New Zealand,” she explained, “and that wasn’t me.  I wanted to find my own identity, my own roots, to find myself.”  She settled in Echo Park which has been her community ever since.

Beaglehole was always interested in children, she said, and babysat since the age of 12.  “I was trying to give to vulnerable children what I didn’t get,” she said, “to be the baby I never was.”  She majored in early childhood education in college and received a diploma in preschool teaching.  Her dream was to start a preschool.

Beginning with discarded school equipment, Beaglehole helped her friends in Echo Park start a cooperative playgroup.  “Playgroup,” as it was called, grew to become a model daycare center.  Today it’s called Playgroup Echo Park, and Beaglehole was its director until 1983.

She left for a promotional opportunity at the LAUSD teaching parenting classes.  Beaglehole went back to school herself, for a master’s degree in counseling, “not be a therapist, but to be therapeutic teacher.”  This led her to develop the District’s innovative Teen Parenting and Childcare Program - where teens could study for their GED and learn parenting skills while their children were in daycare on site.  

Meanwhile, Beaglehole was raising three children of her own.  She had the children half time, sharing custody with their father, but was still always juggling.  About those days, she says, her children never had pajamas.  “They slept in their clothes so they’d be ready to go the next morning.  It was stressful for me and hard on them, and I have regrets.” 

Parenting for Beaglehole also meant learning sign language when her younger daughter was born deaf; in addition she had to fight for her daughter’s rights to a quality education as well as to participate in activities like sports and art classes.

Beaglehole commented that 11 years ago there wasn’t much public discourse against the dominant childrearing paradigm.  She started her center in 1999 with one office staff.  Today Echo Parenting & Education has 23, full and part time, professional and administrative, staff.  They train 100 professionals a year who go back into the community touching the lives of at least 3,000 others.  In March a two-day conference for domestic violence shelter providers called “Changing the Paradigm” attracted 150 participants.         

Eight years ago when Maggie Haase, 43, a parent from Eagle Rock, took classes at the center there were 10-15 people in her class.  She stays in touch though the parent support groups and community events.  Now, she says, there are 40-50 people in the classes.  According to Beaglehole, “We may not have changed public opinion yet, but we’ve created strong currents.”

Beaglehole still has goals for the center.  Although she’ll never retire she will develop a succession plan to pass her work on to others.  She also wants to increase their fundraising capacity with a strategy to attract private donors.  Currently the center survives on sliding scales fees (no one is turned away), grants and an annual gala.

Legislative advocacy is another big area Beaglehole wants to grow.  Laws need to be changed, she said, to provide more day care centers; spanking and the emotional and verbal violation of children also need to be outlawed worldwide. 

Within the last 4 years Beaglehole has come full circle and brought her non-violent parenting philosophy to New Zealand.  She spends 6 weeks each summer with an organization called Te Mauri Toe  teaching non-violent parenting.   This year she’ll also give classes to teachers and social service providers. 

For herself, Beaglehole feels content.  She loves working in Echo Park and spending time with her grandchildren.  And talking to people - at conferences, in the park, or in New Zealand - is what she likes best. 

Haase said without Beaglehole and Echo Parenting & Education, her parenting would look very different.  “One of the most amazing things about Ruth is that she’s an icon, but she’s also a human being.  She’s that really supportive family member you always wish you’d had.”

For more information about Echo Parenting and Education visit their website at www.echoparenting.org.