If Tim Tebow is smart, he'll do his best to become a lefthanded, junior varsity Ben Roethlisberger.
- SUGGESTION: Those of you who watched St. Louis vs Arizona…try the MLS playoffs. It's a better use of your time.
- I was raised a San Francisco 49er fan, concurrent with their Bill Walsh/Joe Montana/Jerry Rice/Ronnie Lott apex. As such, I am a skeptic. 7-1 is 7-1, but never forget that Alex Smith is their quarterback. Epic Disaster Fail is just a snap away.
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- I still don't trust Joe Flacco in a big spot in the postseason.
- Dallas is an enigmatic as their quarterback. They’re a crappier version of San Francisco. What the hell is a Sea Hawk, anyway?
- Be honest. Did you think Miami would score 31 points over the rest of the season? Kansas City should rehire Dick Vermeil just so he can cry over that effort.
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- Someone should tell Carson Palmer that Al Davis died this year. He ain’t gonna die twice, bro. This is a one-time shot of Football Karma for Oakland. They ought not blow it. No matter how mystically motivated the Football Gods may be in helping Los Raiders upon the passing of His Davisness, they are not going to reward 3-interception performances.
- Perhaps Eli Manning wasn’t as full of spit as we thought. Elite quarterbacks beat elite opponents. ALSO: New England’s defense isn’t suspect because it allowed a reasonable 24 points. It’s suspect because they allowed their team to fall behind 10-0, which messes with The Game Plan.
- The Jets manhandled the Bills. The Jets hit the Bills harder, more often. The Bills Failed the Ear Drum Test. Sound upon Physical Impact for the majority of the game's collisions favored New York. Never forget that Football – above all else – is a Linear Exhibition of Violence by Manic Beast Men upon other Beast Men. The Most Violent have The Advantage.
- Colts executive Bill Pollian erupted after the Indianapolis loss to Atlanta, ranting feverishly about Rat-like People who Lie. Maybe he should rant about Blocking and Tackling, because Indianapolis seems woefully incapable of either. Andrew Luck will look good in horseshoes.
- The Chargers scored 38 points at home and lost. Here's a TIP: The Packers don’t know how to lose, even when they should. It will be a shame when the Chargers move to Los Angeles, because a) Los Angeles is too good for pro football and b) how will Los Super Chargers ever be able to replicate that terrific home field advantage that allows visiting opponents to hang 45 on the board?
- Connor Barth made 3 field goals at New Orleans, further solidifying the theory that if you consistently end up with Three when you could have Six while On The Road, you will lose. Seriously. Look at this box score and show me where New Orleans dominated.
- The Fake Oilers beat the Fake Browns in a matchup that would have been totally riveting in 1989. FUN FACT: The winning team out-rushed the losing team 261 to 44. In a related story, Cleveland allowed 4 sacks. All that adds up to a poor offensive line performance, which is Nearly Always Impossible To Overcome On The Road.
